Really Funny Success One Liners

Really Funny Success One Liners

Really Funny Success One Liners

Jokes for adults

There are two rules for success: 1) Don't tell all you know.


There are few things I enjoy more than picking an argument with my girlfriend when she has the hiccups.


If at first you don't succeed, we have a lot in common.


Being a hypochondriac is going to save my life one of these days


Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.


Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.


The road to success is always under construction.


I'm good at multitasking and procrastinating, which means right now there are at least 28 things that I'm putting off until later.


Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.


Five Secrets of Successful People:1. Don't 2. Tell 3. Anyone 4. Your 5. Secrets

Identity theft is the most diabolical way someone can compliment you on doing a good job at life.


How do construction workers party? they raise the roof.


Secret to success is to know who to blame for your failures.


Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.


Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.


A successful man is one who makes more money that his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


I accidentally took an extra step when I reached the top of the stairs and now I'm in a marching band.


Currently the flower business is blooming.

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