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Really Funny Jokes That Make You Laugh Out Loud

 

Really Funny Jokes That Make You Laugh

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Alcohol is a perfect solvent: It dissolves marriages, families and careers.


What's the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck.


How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?


I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.


Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.


If i had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.


A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.


I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.


If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.


Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?

Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that just came out of your mouth?


Isn't it great to live in the 21st century? Where deleting history has become more important than making it.


Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?


I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.


Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I'm driving.


You're not fat, you're just... easier to see.


When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.


When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of emergency, I always write, "A very good doctor".


That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is "act natural, you're innocent".


I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Christmas Jokes Of The Day

Christmas Jokes Of The Day

 

Why do bells ring at Christmas?
Because someone pulls the rope.


How do you know Santa has to be a man?
No woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year.

Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses to the beach?
He didn’t want to be recognized.

What do you get when Santa Claus goes down a chimney and the fire is lit?
Crisp Kringle.

Who is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey – he’s always stuffed!

What do you give a mummy for Christmas?
Gift wrap.

Why did the elf push his bed into the fireplace?
Because he wanted to sleep like a log.

What do you get when you cross an apple with a Christmas three?
A pine-apple.

What happened to the monster who ate the Christmas three?
He had to have a tinsel-ectomy.

Peter: Why do you never hear anything about the tenth reindeer, Olive?
Jo: Olive?
Peter: You know, “Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names.”
 
What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month?
The letter D.

Where does Christmas come before Thanksgiving?
In the dictionary.

Teacher: What does the Christmas tree stand for?
Student: It would take too much room lying down.

Buffalo Jokes Funny

 

Short funny jokes

Q: How do you make sense out of a water buffalo?

A: With buffalo nickels.

 

Q: What has 2 tails, 3 horns and 6 feet?

A: A water buffalo with spare parts!

 

Q: Why did the buffalo cross the road?

A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

 

Q: What do you call an buffalo at the North Pole?

A: Lost!

 

Q: What's brown but turns red?

A: An embarrassed buffalo!

 

Q: What the difference between a Buffalo and Bison?

A: You can't wash your hands in a buffalo!

 

Q: What is as big as a buffalo but weighs nothing?

A: Its shadow!

 

Q: What kind of car does a buffalo drive?

A: A Furrari.

 

Q: What do you call a single buffalo?

A: A buffalonely

 

Q: What is the Native Americans name for buffalo that can fly?

A: Buffalo Wild Wings

 

Q: What do you call a buffalo in a phone booth?

A: Stuck!

 

Q: What animal is always the designated driver?

A: The water buffalo.

 

Q: What happens when 2 single buffalo meet up, fall in love and run away to get married?

A: they buffalope

 

Q: What time is it when a buffalo sits on your bed?

A: Time to get a new bed! 

 

See more:  Life quotes to live by